Tuesday, February 19, 2013

A post about Ben

OK - so, I entitled the blog 'single in Paris' for the fact that I was, when I created it, single in Paris. But, as people can easily see from later posts, I am definitely no longer single, and soon, will no longer be in Paris.

I'd heard the old adage that love appears when you stop looking, or when you least expect it or some other saying about love that I don't generally subscribe to, but I have to say, I was definitely not looking, I wasn't even wanting, and I could never have told you, in a million years, that it was going to be Ben.

So a trip through Nichola and Ben...we met, in standard fashion, first year of Uni. He actually tells this story better than me so here's my recounting of the way Ben tells it:

"You know how, in the first year of Uni everyone in halls just leaves their door open, well, I walked past a door where everyone was about to watch a film and Nichola invited me in - movie was literally just starting, it was still credits, and I asked ONE question and she said "If you're going to talk you can get out my room.". So I was like, what a bitch, and left."

What can I say, except don't talk when I'm watching a film.

Ben and I were kind of friends after that through default, mutual friends meant we were part of the same extended Uni group. We got better friends as the years went on but I think I can say that we only really become good friends when four of us got a house share after Uni. Now I can go on detailing what was a wonderful friendship and it all seems really romantic now but I can assure you it really wasn't. Ben and me were friends, nothing more. You can look back at pictures and go, aww how cute. Friends. And as Ben so charmingly put it:

"I don't think of my female friends as attractive. They're just friends."

Duly insulted from any stand point.

But anyway, moving to London Ben and I found more time for each other and he became the guy I talked to about everything. Which is round about the time I realised there was a lot more to him than I'd originally thought (no offence Ben but you can't help but have a low opinion of the guy who painted a crime scene outline on his wall).

All very nice but again, friends. It took a long weekend in France to change things up. Part of me was dreading four straight days with him. I was thinking, oh God, he's going to annoy the fuck out of me. This is going to be painful... Turned out it was really easy, really chilled, and I guess you can say it went from there...

A lot of backhanded compliments: "You know Ben, you've not annoyed me at all this weekend, I'm really surprised.", some good conversations and the sight of Ben with his shirt off (bad/good timing coming out of the bathroom) and something clicked...oh God...I like him.

I had no idea at this time that anything similar was going on on his side...all I kept saying to myself was 'No, this is Ben, Ben is your friend...even if you wanted to, you live in Paris! Just leave it, ignore it, leave it alone.' Sometime after that weekend there was indication on his side that he was heading down the same road I was...

The rest, I guess, is history. It's been nearly 6 months since that weekend and I'm moving back to London in just three weeks to start a new chapter. I stand by the fact that I'm 95% excited and 5% terrified. End of the day you can't predict the future but you can damn well enjoy the present and, in the words of Mr Marley:

"Love hard when there's love to be had."

Shreena's Bday Paris December 2012

Note I've changed the title and will change the URL soon to be nicholawithanh.blogspot.com


  1. Thank you for the comment :))


  2. This is the first time I've come across your blog and I'm so glad that this was the post I chose to read.
    A beautiful story of how you and Ben met.
    I wish you all the best together and will continue to read about your adventures.
    Love, your newest fan,
    Isabella x

    1. That is the nicest comment I have ever had and I don't even know what to say in response!! Hopefully I'll be writing about our adventures for a long time as he is definitely my favourite person and I don't want him to go anywhere!! Fingers crossed!

      P.S. Love the blog title!!

  3. Just popped over after seeing a comment from you on the Londoner blog. Aww this is so sweet, you make a cute couple. It's a great basis of a relationship to be friends first :) Jo

    1. Aw! Welcome to my blog - hope you enjoy! We're creeping up to our year anniversary on the 1st September...I can honestly say I'm happier today than I was when we first started going out. I cannot agree with you more that friends first is an incredible basis for a relationship. He's my absolute favourite person!

      Hope you visit again Jo!