Saturday, June 8, 2013

Chill out guys...

Watching 'What Women Want' there's a particular line in it that gives me comfort, Mel Gibson says to Helen Hunt about an advertisement they're developing - "She's thinking about what she wants out of life, what she's going to accomplish, how's she going to do all that? Women think about that a lot, they worry all the time, about everything."

I wasn't with Ben for very long before he realised I was exactly like this. I am a constant worrier, and I'm always worrying about everything. I can do it all at once as well, I'll be sitting at work worrying about something I need to get done and simultaneously I'll think about how it's been a while since I've spoken to such and such and I better get in touch with them and organise a catch-up, whilst also thinking about things that still need set-up in the house and then proceeding onto how I can get Ben to do more housework without having to be a nagging girlfriend.

I assume I'm not alone in this, according to 'What Women Want' we all do this...right? I'm working on turning it off, because, frankly, it's exhausting. And personally, I tend to go in a downward spiral every once in a while and worry myself into a no-win situation which doesn't really exist. A bad day at work becomes a 'what am I doing with my life' type scenario for example.

Shutting this off is really hard because, obviously, it's been years in development, and some people might say, 'you can't help it, that's just who you are' but I don't buy into that. We change constantly as people and if you recognise something you're doing that's making life harder than it needs to be, you might as well work on changing it. Worrying brings me no joy, I won't always be able to shut it off, but I can give myself a break from sweating the small stuff.

I'm sure everyone should find their own way of doing this because obviously it's all personal but for me personally, I go to the big picture. It's a bit dramatic but do you remember in January there was a helicopter that crashed in London? I read that someone on the ground was killed which really made me think, I wonder what this poor guy was up to that day, if he was worrying about something that he'd never get the chance to deal with...I know it's a common phrase that you could get hit by a bus tomorrow but I think that the fact it's a common phrase means the significance of it is a bit lost. Because it's a good point that, end of the day, if a helicopter lands on me, worrying about the fact that the bills aren't arranged to come out of the joint account yet was a massive waste of time.

Anyway, I wanted to share in case it helped anyone at all. I forget the exact quote but it's something like 'worrying is useless, if you can change it, change it, if you can't, don't waste time worrying about it.' If that's not an actual phrase I officially take credit for it! Haha! Just don't do what I do - worry yourself into a hypothetical situation which isn't real but affects how you deal with life today. Not everyone will understand that but those that do, you are not alone!

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